In 1919, an Iowa store owner named Christian Nelson invented the choco-covered "ice cream bar" (History of Ice Cream, 2010). In 1920, a heartless business man named Harry Burt copied the idea and called it the Good Humor "Ice Cream Bar" (Good Humor, 2010). Shortly thereafter, Burt and his band of hooligans decided to distribute their dairy concoction by way of white "Ice Cream Trucks." The rest is history--bloody and ugly history. Good Humor ruled the frozen dessert roost and ruled the streets for years before others decided to get in on the mobile ice cream distribution business. Next thing you know, ice cream guys started staking their claims in communities and parks nationwide. Behind the Mafia, the Bloods, and the Crips, it was the "Ice Cream Man" that you didn't want to cross. As long as you were buying, you weren't in danger. But, as soon you as you decided to try your fortune at frozen milk solicitation on wheels, you're life would hang by a thread. You don't sell ice cream in another man's hood--his domain, his wheelhouse, his special spot, or on his TURF. I was unaware of these facts until this weekend.
Saturday, I saw the best and worst of Americana while working at Sokol Park in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. It was a beautiful day. Low to mid 80s, light and variable cloudiness, low humidity, kids playing softball and baseball, and families spending time together. It was perfect. It appeared it was getting better. Just as everyone was starting to realize how dehydrated, hot, and hungry they were becoming, a sound in the distance brought hope...
I've noticed that when people hear something fantastic and awesome, their reaction is identical to when they hear something potentially threatening or deadly such as thunder or sirens. At the first echo of an ice cream truck Saturday, many people stopped what they were doing. They cocked their heads just slightly and hushed their friends with a single finger extended to notify them of something significant. Although filled with excitement, their faces suggested concern. I saw a small child stop his game of catch with his dad in mid-throw just to listen. His eyes got big and his right ear turned towards the sound in highly animated anticipation.
Next was the moment of discovery and a confirmation. Eddie Murphy describes the moment of ice cream truck discovery best in (warning: lots of needless profanity, but funny if you can get past it) this video. I saw some spectacular reactions. One girl who was probably 3 or 4 started running towards the park gate with both arms in the air and very little stability in her lower half. I was standing right behind a set of grandparents who were watching over their grandson while his brother played. The younger brother was upset about something, and when the ice cream truck showed up, Gramps said, "Looky here now. This will make you feel better. Here's some money. Got get'chu some ice cream. And grab us a soda." That wasn't the best, though. There was an AWESOME 7 or 8 year old boy who had apparently seen some re-runs of the 70s show "Good Times." As soon as he heard the ice cream truck, he did his best Jimmie Walker (Check out Jimmie on Good Times in this clip). The kid started shouting, "DY-NO-MITE! DY-NO-MITE! DY-NO-MITE!" The best part is that he was simultaneously doing his best Tiger Woods fist pump in sync with each running stride and with each syllable as he ran towards the truck.
"Kool Moes Ice Cream and Frozen Treats" had saved the day. The driver rolled in blaring "Mary had a Little Lamb" over the truck speakers. There were no words of course, so for all I know, the actual song Kool Moe was playing could have been "Mary had a Sno-Cone" or "Mary had a Drumstick." Maybe, "Mary had a 3-toned, 3-flavored, Firecracker." Who knows? Anyway, the driver, who I would later discover is actually named Randy, also utilized the speakers to announce, "It's hot. Real hot. Come get your ice cream, cold sodas, cold gatorades, and cold water!"
Things were good, but not for long.
What was that we heard in the distance? Could it be? Yes, another Ice Cream truck! It had to be a good thing, right? Right? I mean, 2 hawkers of Flinstone Push-ups are better than 1, aren't they? In short, the answer is no. But I will give you the answer "in long."
The second truck to roll in was owned by "Tuscaloosa Special Service Ice Cream." Oddly, this truck's speakers were blaring the "Happy Birthday" song. Doesn't this alienate 364/365ths of the potential clientele? Again, I was assuming, though. There were no words to go along with the melody. Perhaps the song was, "A Chocolate Eclair for you!" or "Mickey Mouse ice cream to you!" In my mind, that song would go like this (to the tune of Happy Birthday in case you've lost me here): "Mickey Mouse ice cream to you! Mickey Mouse ice cream to you! It will smear on your faaa-ace! And it'll melt on you too!"
Anyway, 2 ice cream trucks are not better than 1. Believe you, me. "Special Service" rolled up in the "hood" and the driver said to Kool Moe, "I thought we settled this, Randy..."
Randy immediately responded, "We didn't settle jack, Roger. Now move along. I'm busy."
The parents and kids were split. Some were turned off by Roger's apparent invasion and his belittling tone. Others saw that Roger was offering waters 2 for 1 and dropped their allegiance to Ralph quickly. Still others realized that this was just the beginning of this little spat, and it was time to leave.
"We settled it, Randy. We settled it, and you know it. Sokol Park is mine. I don't want to get out of this truck." .... For the remaining patrons who hadn't yet realized -ish was about to get real, they now knew it was time to evacuate.
"You would ruin a perfect day wouldn't you?" asked Randy. "Who cares about all these people, right? God forbid I sell ice cream at Sokol Park."
While everyone else looked on with disgust, I inched closer because I knew you folks would love to hear about it.
"The problem, Randy (belittling pause), is that Sokol Park is mine when they aren't running concessions. You agreed to it. Now leave before I make you."
Crunch time! What would Randy do?????? OMG!!!!
"Fine! ATTENTION EVERYONE," yelled Randy. "I will sell everything for 25 cents off across the street. It's worth the walk!"
One elderly lady applauded. It was CLASSIC. Thankfully this Ice Cream Truck turf battle didn't end badly. My fear is that this is the exception, though. Not the rule...
"Sources"
1. Wikipedia (2010, May 16). Good Humor. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Humor
2. Bellis, M. (2010, May 16). History of ice cream. Retrieved from http://inventors.about.com/od/foodrelatedinventions/a/ice_cream.htm
2 comments:
Good Stuff!!! I've had a hell of a day at work and the one thing I needed was a good Ice Cream Truck turf war story.
HAHA! Nice. Hang in there, man. GO VIPERS!
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