As a former journalist and graduate from UNC's school of Journalism and Mass Communication, I'd like to briefly put on my reporting shoes and pass along information that is as good as gold. I'm about 99.99% sure that 0-100% of this information is 100% accurate. In other words, take it to the bank and share it with friends.
A source of a source who has been described as a former, disgruntled AP reporter's, son's classmate's step uncle has passed along the following information to Muffin Matters:
Butch Davis will "resign" soon, and by "resign" I'm told that means he will be "fired." Key UNC athletic department heads have reportedly began securing passports in order to go on a search for former UNC standout, Darian Durant. Durant was last seen playing quarterback for the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the Canadian League. Durant is apparently number one on the list to fulfill interim coaching duties while Butch Davis starts the application process for the Seattle Seahawks to work under fellow d-bag, Pete Carroll.
It has also been said that UNC officials have already thrown together a search committee for UNC's next head football coach. Sources confirmed that Mike Gundy, current Oklahoma State head coach, is the top candidate for UNC's position. Gundy, who gained cult status among the 18-40 year-old male demographic, has led the OSU cowboys to two straight 9-4 seasons and four straight bowl appearances starting in 2006. Aside from his mastery of the English language, good looks, and press conference charm, Gundy was a standout quarterback at OSU who led the Cowboys to three straight 10-win seasons and two bowl wins in the 80s.
When asked for his thoughts about reports linking him with the upcoming UNC job opening, Gundy responded that, "the reports are garbage! And the blogger, that let them come out, is garbage!"................................
Sources now tell Muffin Matters that the new top candidates are Tommy Tuberville, Mike Ditka, anyone closely related to Nick Saban, Lou Holts, and Andy Griffith.
Don't shoot the messenger; give him a high five.
You're welcome.
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