The Wild West

“People are too dagum soft these days. If you have a problem with somebody, or if somebody ticks you off, you ought to be able to challenge them to a gunfight. Problem solved. Unless that is, you’re too slow. And if you’re too slow, you shouldn’t go around starting gunfights.”
-Greg Johnston, North Little Rock, AR

-This week we’re going to talk about the philosophy of the Old West. My fascination with the Old West stems from my interest in western movies, especially those that star John Wayne. The philosophy of the Old West is simple, but not very feasible. It's fun to think about though.

-The philosophy of the Old West is well summed up in the opening quote from my boss over here in Arkansas. It’s rough, it’s tough, and if you’ve got a problem with somebody, you take care of it. There’s more to it than just gunfights though. Let’s see; there’s whiskey drinking, piano playing, cattle driving, exploring, family raising, farming, wanted posters, poker games, living the manifest destiny, and countless other things I don’t have time to list.

-Like anything, the philosophy of the Old West has its positives and it has its negatives. Sure, the modern life we enjoy today may seem 1,000 times better than the way people lived in the 19th century, but let’s just throw everything on the table and re-evaluate for the heck of it.

THE GOOD: Every young boy at some point has thrown on a cowboy hat and pretended to be a cowboy fighting off bandits and rounding up herds on the cattle drive. The Old West was adventurous, and nobody knew what the next day would bring. At that time in American history, the western part of the nation was still being settled, and one could set out in any direction they chose trying to find good land and a great life.

T-he cowboys of the Old West also knew how to party. We have them to thank for something men still do today: gather, drink, and play poker. However, their carrying of guns made each game a bit more volatile than ours today. I know what some of you may be thinking. “Not everybody carried guns in the Old West.” That’s true, but not carrying a gun in Wild West would be about as stupid as not wearing a seatbelt in a NASCAR race.

-There was little or no nonsense in the Old West. First and foremost, there were no hippies. That’s a big plus in my book. Also, if you tried to explain the concept of being “politically correct” to someone in the Old West, they would laugh at you and spit tobacco in your eye. Then, they would hop on their horse and say “how’s that for ‘politically correct’” as they rode away laughing and hollering with their posse while they fired rifles aimlessly into the air.

-Let’s not forget about the railroad. Today we’ve got the interstate system; back then they were working on the Trans-Continental Railroad, and it was something else. It was completed in 1869, and it could get you just about anywhere you wanted to go. The railroad helped to develop areas economically. It helped outlaws escape the law, and it provided a good target for them as well. The railroad also helped the good guys chase down and catch the outlaws.

-And the women…oh boy! Have you seen many westerns? Those girls knew how to dress. They proved that more is less. However, you would have wanted to stay away from the “friendly” women that lived on the second floor of the saloon. They were naughty. Very, very naughty.

THE BAD: In the Wild West you always had to be on the look out for bandits! We have enough bank robberies here in the 21st century. Lack of electronic security and technology made it a lot easier to get away with stealing dough back then. In the Old West you were better off burying your gold and money in a box way out past the big rock, beyond the Devil’s Canyon, right under the big oak tree, along the river.

-Even though the Wild West provided a fantastic opportunity for exploration and adventure, it also provided a fantastic opportunity to get lost and never be heard of again. That’s right; lots of folks took off and were never heard of again. ANYTHING could have happened to them: a bear attack; a failed attempt at “fording” the river; lack of food; dysentery; losing a gunfight; winning a gunfight, but then being shot from behind by the loser’s low-down sidekick; a fall into a canyon; a snake bite; getting hit by Doc Brown’s Delorean while he’s on one of his crazy time travel trips to the Wild West; dehydration, or an American badger attack.

THE UGLY: We touched on dysentery already, but the wide array of other diseases and the lack of advanced medicine is a crucial short coming of the Wild West. People died all the time! A lot of times when someone died, it was blamed on “The Fever” or the “Yellow Fever” but they actually died of various illnesses that couldn’t be properly diagnosed at the time.

-Conflict with Native Americans is another sad and upsetting element of the Wild West. “Manifest Destiny” is a term you hear often in regards to continued settlement towards the West…but there were some folks that were already there. This resulted in some conflict. It was indeed ugly. Sometimes relations were peaceful, but more often than not, there was some fighting. Trust was hard to gain by both parties. The whole situation is very difficult to analyze without bias or conflicting emotions, so we’re just going to leave it alone.

-Lastly, there were drunks. “We have drunks today!” you might say. At least today, a much smaller percentage of drunks walk around strapped with revolvers.

-So there you have a very, very abbreviated synopsis of philosophy and ways of the Old West. I think I would have loved it…as long as I could avoid all the deadly stuff. No risk, no reward, right? There’s lots of stuff that can kill you today too. I’m going to grab some Wild Turkey and a gun, and then I’m going to head over to Doc Brown’s house to party. We’ll see what happens.