-America celebrated its 231st Independence Day on Wednesday. Most people were busy with fireworks, family get-togethers and cookouts. There is no doubt that some of these cookouts were of gigantic proportions with steaks, burgers, hot dogs, chips, baked beans, coleslaw, and fish-sticks. And the deserts were surely spectacular with enough sugar and trans-fat to make a nutritionist cry. Since most were busy with celebrations, there was no reason to burden anyone with a blog on the 4th. I think it more prudent to look back now and reflect on the greatness that is the United States of America.
About a week ago a nine-year-old girl at a summer camp said to me, "Casey when I look at you, I don't know why, but I think of 'America.' I just think about America." I fought back tears of joy while I said thank you, and hugged this sweet little girl. Maybe my hard work has finally paid off. In an effort to bring awareness about America to Americans over the last 5 or so years I have put together a wardrobe with an unusually high percentage of patriotic items; I have accumulated and shared an excellent collection of John Wayne movies; I have studied up on the history of Dale Earnhardt Sr. and educated others about his awesomeness; I have read Mark Twain novels; and I have become a Coca-Cola Classic fanatic. I also defend America when hippies critique or attack its values and actions. My arguments are heavily opinion-based and offer little factual information. But it's the thought that counts. Any %100 true, red-blooded American would agree with that.
John Wayne, the 3 Car, Twain, and Coke are some of the things that make America special to me, along with state-themed quarters and the Eisenhower Interstate Highway System (thanks again Dwight). There are thousands of other things that might make America special to you like American football, the history of the Salem Witch Trials, or John Mellancamp's song in Chevrolet commercials ("This is our Country"). Whatever it may be that makes America special to you, enjoy it, and may God Bless America and may God bless you. Now let's all go set off some high-powered and colorful explosions and drink alcoholic beverages one more time! We'll do it again next year!
Attention graphic artists: I would love to have your help in later posts: contact me if you're interested. Although the opening photo-illustration captures my idea, it lacks the professional touch, and looks quite horrid.
2 comments:
you also don't vote, you schmuck!
Well I don't know who this Matt guy is, but I do vote, and my guess is that Matt enjoys young men and anal sex.
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