If this post were a Jeopardy category, it'd be named "Potpourri"

    I apologize to my legion of fans that have had to suffer through a month long absence of new content.  I hope the three of you forgive me...

   Several good friends from around the country have pitched in with ideas for this post.  Let's start with a great American, Travis Hipps, who lives out in Seattle, WA.  First things first, Travis wanted me to work in the following things to a blog post:  An animal, Dale Earnhardt, The South, America, Seattle, and the Texas Longhorns.  Let the record show, I successfully accommodated 5 out of 6 requests via my tasty photo illustration above.  In good conscience, I couldn't work in the Texas Longhorns to the photo.  I'm in school at Alabama for golly's sake.  However, I just mentioned the Longhorns in the post so I'm 6 for 6 the way I see it.  For the animal, I obviously went with the honey badger; the most ferocious mammal in the world.  It's cute, but it will rip your heart out and stomp on your remains.  Speaking of Honey Badgers, Matthew Fletcher down in New Orleans checked in.  He is now one of America's leading authorities on Honey Badgers after his enlightenment to the fascinating mammal last summer.  He dropped a line saying, "Sturge, I thought I saw a honey badger the other day...But obviously I didn't, because I'm still alive."  Right on Fletch.  We must respect and admire the honey badger, but we can never trust it.  For America, I went with our gorgeous flag.  For The South, I went with a picture of cotton, and for Seattle, I went with the Space Needle.  What the heck is that thing anyway?  It looks like the Eiffel Tower choked on a frisbee.  Lastly, Alex Trebek is hanging  out in the photo for 2 reasons. #1.  Obviously, the Jeopardy reference.  #2. The more important reason:  Circa 1980's Trebek with the classic stash...and no shirt.  What a man.

   Back to Travis Hipps.  He really gave me some good stuff in regards to St. Patrick's day back in March.  I personally never celebrate the holiday...because I'm not Irish.  I use to be grossly offended by pasty non-red headed, non-Irish folks walking around drunk at 11am saying, "WOOO!  St. Patrick's Day, Duuude!  Green beer!  Wooo!"  Indeed, I use to think it was idiotic for other non-Irish folks to go nuts on St. Paddy's day, but Hipps believes otherwise.  He said he thinks we have successfully Americanized the holiday because as Americans, "We make up excuses to drink.  That's just what we do." Most Americans have NO vested interest in St. Paddy's day, but they still drink because it's an excuse to party.  Right on.  I'll buy it.  I'll no longer think terrible things about St. Paddy's Day fans.  

   Next.  A female friend from the beautiful North Carolinian city of Chapel Hill gave me some disturbing news today.  She'll have to remain anonymous because I don't want to get her in trouble.  She said at a recent teacher workshop, another lady called her arrogant for saying her nationality was "American."  The lady said, there are many America's.  North America, South America, and "our perceived America." I just don't have time to go into how much this story pissed me off.  But, hear me friends, we live in America; THE America.  This psycho should be banned from speaking out loud and spreading her ridiculousness to young children.  Apparently this woman believes we should refer to our nationality as "United Statesian."  That sounds dumb.  I refuse.

    That's all I got. I'm all tuckered out.