1. I am greatly concerned about the traffic on my blog. Google provides me with reports about numerous things including number of hits and where the hits are from, and the data raises red flags. There's no need to get into the number of hits...let's just say that YOU, the current reader, reading this right now, make up a decent percent. Anyway, that's not the issue here. The issue is where the hits are coming from: Canada. I don't get it, and I don't like it. Not only are they right behind my fellow Americans in total hits, but on average, they spend more time on these pages than Americans. What's more disturbing is that our friends on the other side of the pond (The British) also spend more time here. I fear the worst-An all out plot to bring down Muffin Matters.
2. Within the borders of this great nation, I have failed to make a connection with our brethren in Maine, Montana, Iowa, Idaho, and Massachusetts. At this point, I would like to offer an olive branch to those unreached populations. People of Maine, your average summer temperatures can't be matched by the rest of the nation. Your rocky beaches in August are a hopeful destination of mine. Montana. Beautiful Montana. I love big skies and cows. And Glacier National Park is the finest of them all (and also the only National Park I've visited). Iowa, how bout those Cubs...those Iowa Cubs! People of Idaho, I love meat and potatoes, and we all know you grow some mean potatoes. Massachusetts. Ah, Massachusetts...Well, I don't really care if you folks like what I do here or not, but please don't take that the wrong way. What I really mean is the problem isn't you. The problem is me. I don't like you. "Oh how arrogant and ignorant," you undoubtedly think as you read along. My thoughts exactly.
3. Why haven't I mentioned the Winter Olympics? Good question. I don't have a great answer, but I will tell you that I don't have a way of watching them without cable or rabbit-ear reception. That's the main reason. The second reason is that Winter makes me want to puke. I hate cold weather and wind, and snow belongs on postcards only. The winter Olympians are tremendous athletes, and when it comes to fashion, well no one can top the male figure skaters. So I admire all the participants, but winter sports don't particularly interest me. Of course I want America to dominate the planet in the Olympics, but I will tell you that we had better focus on dominating our own economy, foreign policy, and the perceptions of America around the world before we worry about who can get down a snow-covered hill the fastest.
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2 comments:
Those Oh Canadians! come from nowhere and will get you fast!
Better start being more American... maybe you should start posting more about Wal-Mart, inaccurate geographical information, and update us on your thoughts on the Bachelor. That'll help boost the Americanism on this page and keep the intruders away.
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