So what's going on in America? BULLET POINTS:
- Football season is about to start. American Football season, that is. There are digital countdown clocks in nearly all bars and grills here in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. The natives are more excited than OJ Simpson at a Gun and Knife Show.
- Barack Obama went for a swim in the Gulf to show Americans that it was indeed safe. But, the visit came on the tail-end of shark week, so I don't expect attendance to increase.
- The Cleveland Metroparks Zoo is currently showing off their finest new exhibit: The Scoop on Poop! It's about animal dookey--the biology of it, and how animals use it for other purposes. I share this because I think fecal matter is funny, and I'm saddened that it's such a taboo subject in American society. Cleveland Metroparks Zoo has taken a step in the right direction.
- Have you ever heard people talk about how California could break off of the continent because of earthquakes? I have! Not so fast say "scientists" from some school named 'Berkely.' Arnold Schwarzeneger could have held the state to the rest of the country with his bulging biceps, anyway. To be clear, I have 6 or 7 really good friends that either live in, or are from Cali. I never wanted the state to literally sink into the ocean, but a trip out to sea wouldn't have been bad.
- Alex Rodriguez hit his 600th home run on Wednesday, August fourth...No one cared.
- Radio and TV reports revealed that Nick Saban ate a Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie this evening to supplement his dinner. 4.6 million Alabama natives immediately updated their "Where's Nicky and What's He Doing?" log books.
- Lastly, to class up this joint, I will no longer refer to this site as a blog. It's a 'Web Log', suckers. Classic and regal, just like a gourmet muffin smacking you in the face to start your day.
