Happy National Squirrel Day!

--Today, we honor America’s favorite rodent: the Squirrel. "National Squirrel Appreciation Day" was founded in 2001 by Asheville native, Christy Hargrove who is an animal rehabilitation specialist. Way to go Christy.

--The Squirrel already holds a place of honor in Muffin Matters history. Some of you may remember a post from July, in which we counted down “America’s Top-5 Animals.” The Squirrel came in at number 5. Fantastic.

--North Carolina natives are especially familiar with the squirrel, and anyone who has stepped foot on the campus of UNC has gotten their share of squirrel interaction. There are several different squirrel species in America, but those that live in the southeast are most familiar with the Eastern Gray Squirrel. Squirrels are very clever and can be trained and hand fed.

--Most little-known holidays just piss me off because they are absolutely pointless and fail to amuse me. Take for example National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day (January 11th). If you stepped in a puddle and splashed me, you wouldn’t be my friend anymore. You’d be just another hippie trying to take over the world with stupidity. How about “National Tap Dance Day” (May 25th)? If you want to celebrate this holiday by dancing around like a fairy in special “tapping shoes,” then be my guest, but I warn you: the only person to EVER somehow make tap dancing cool was Bill Cosby (you’ve got to check this video out). None of us are as cool as Bill Cosby, so we shouldn’t even try. Lastly, consider “National Punch Day.” Now some of you may be getting excited like I did when I first saw this one. But, this is not a day where you’re suppose to go around punching people that annoy you, in the face. It’s a day for frickin’ punch: [puhnch]- n. a beverage consisting of wine or spirits mixed with fruit juice, soda, water, milk, or the like, and flavored with sugar, spices, etc. Used in a sentence, “Whoever invented punch day should be stripped of their clothes, strapped down to a table, and covered with rabid SQUIRRELS.”

--Now, The Squirrel is a deserving little mammal that has earned the recognition. Too often, The Squirrel is only discussed when it’s flattened on a major highway or when it tries to eat bird seeds in your front yard. Maybe the squirrel has created havoc in your perennial flower garden, or maybe it has invaded your home as an unwelcome guest, but the squirrel has never meant any harm. It has only wanted your love. Well Squirrel, this is your day. Congratulations. You’ve earned it. From your silly alcohol abuse problems , to "Twiggy's" amazing water skiing, to your knack for delaying sporting events, we salute you.

Notes: Congrats Barack, snow, etc.

--The Muffin Matters staff has received several complaints due to the lack of presidential coverage. On behalf of the entire organization, I would like to apologize and explain. We here at M.M. celebrate the election and inauguration of Barack Obama as we will any future presidents. Our policy, from inception, has been simple and straightforward. Here at Muffin Matters, we don't discuss political leanings, religion, or the inner-workings of the female brain. It's just better this way. Once again, we do congratulate Barack Obama and wish him the best.

--One thing I will say on a personal note is that we should all get more involved in local and state elections. These elections will impact our day-to-day lives more than the presidential elections ever will. This is not an opinion; it is a fact. I read it. On Wikipedia.

--Moving on, significant snow has been forcasted in the Triangle of North Carolina for the first time this winter. I for one, am terrified. I plan on buying no less than 5 gallons of milk and 10 loaves of bread. I am going to a hardware store, and I'm going to buy chains to strap to the tires of my Sentra. My roommates and I are going to install a fireplace in our living room, and we're going to buy 3 kerosene heaters. We're also going to purchase a generator for when the power inevitably fails. We're going to round up volunteers to check on women and children during this monstrous winter weather event. If you're older than 80-years-old, I have bad news...you will not make it through this storm. As for the roadways...as soon as one-eighth of an inch of frozen precipitation falls, the roads will become impossible to travel on. Stay home, and let the professionals that drive those news vans around travel the roads. As I mentioned earlier, we don't discuss religion here on M.M., but if you aren't religious, you might want to start being so now. 2-4 inches of snow people. Don't chance it.