Monday, April 28, 2008

Golden Corral VS. CiCi's Pizza...Which is More American?

* A quick note before we get started...Muffin Matters is now syndicated! Thanks to Carolina Water Cooler, top-class Americana is reaching more people than ever. Check it out at http://www.carolinawatercooler.com.

This week, we are going to engage in a difficult yet crucial debate. Some of you will likely jump to one side or the other right off the bat. Some of you will probably be torn to bits on this issue, but we must come to a consensus. We are going to determine which is more American: Golden Corral or CiCi’s Pizza.
---I know what some of you are thinking right now… “Muffin, this is an easy one. Pizza ain’t American. It’s I-talian.”
---Well, pizza may be an Italian dish, but I’ll tell you something right now; pizza topped with barbecued chicken, cheeseburger bits, and macaroni and cheese is distinctly American. FYI, pizza didn’t actually originate in Italy. Historians believe the Greeks or Romans are to thank for the delicious round mass of greasy, cheesy, saucy goodness.
Anyway, the debate will not be solely based on the food served at these glorious establishments. We will also consider what these restaurants represent and stand for. Our primary objective is to determine which one of these culinary masterpieces best embodies the Spirit of America. And yes, the “Spirit of America” is a real and tangible thing, and if you don’t agree, then you are most certainly a hippie or a communist.
---Ok, let’s first take a look at the basics. Golden Corral opened in the great city of Fayetteville, North Carolina in 1973. They now have 476 franchises in 38 states. They have an absolutely splendid buffet that contains an array of foods including but not limited to carved and hot meats, pasta, pizza, veggies, salads, and desserts! Their company vision is "To be the leading family restaurant system by making pleasurable dining affordable for every guest, in every restaurant, every day." I don’t know why they tossed in the word “system,” but I like it. As if having a tip-top vision wasn’t enough, they also have a company mission which is, “to make pleasurable dining affordable.” However, they get negative cool points for ripping the company mission directly from the company vision. Lastly, Golden Corral was voted the #1 family buffet by “Nation’s Restaurant News” for the 10th consecutive year in 2007! And we all know how prestigious the “Nation’s Restaurant News” is.
---CiCi’s Pizza opened in the bland city of Plano, Texas in 1985. They now have approximately 600 franchises in 29 states. They have an endless pizza buffet with classic favorites and new creations. They also offer some pasta, some salad, and a decent selection of yummy and sweet desserts. They don’t have a “vision” but they do have a “mission” and it’s a good one: “To exceed each guest's expectation in food, service and cleanliness, all within CiCi's low all-you-can-eat price point.” Kind of poetic isn’t it? I got quite a good giggle out of the fact that CiCi’s Pizza also cites the “Nation’s Restaurant News” on their website: Cici’s is number one for sales and unit growth in the pizza chain category for the last 4 years. AWESOME!
--- Now for the intangibles.
-PATRONS: A scientific poll showed that on a NASCAR race day, you have a 70% chance of walking up to any table in Golden Corral and asking, “Who won today?” and getting the correct answer. In CiCi’s pizza, you have only a 10% chance of getting this critical information. In CiCi’s pizza you will likely have to compete against throngs of ankle-biters celebrating birthdays which means less specialty pizza for you. In GC, the young ones are usually accompanied. One of my most memorable restaurant experiences happened at GC by the way. A young lad was standing in front of the bar where the macaroni and cheese usually sits. He looked on intently as a GC employee walked in the back to pick up a new batch. The child was focused and completely still as he waited there salivating. When the employee returned and placed the mac & cheese in its rightful place, the child promptly raised both hands over his head and pumped his arms three times before digging in. This was awesome. John Stillman was actually there that day, and I immediately relayed the story to him. Kids don’t make CiCi’s less American, but they do make it a touch more annoying…and to be annoying reminds me of France not America. Edge to GC.
-SERVICE: Treating people the right way is truly American, so service is crucial in this debate. If there’s one thing CiCi’s employees learn in their intense and specialized training which I’m sure takes no less than 2 months, it’s to say “Hi! Welcome to CiCi’s!” when you walk in. When you leave, you will undoubtedly hear the words, “Thanks for coming to CiCi’s!” From my experience, they really seem to mean it. Although, they don’t always have the pizza you want, they usually have something to hold you over until what you want shows up. At Golden Corral, smiling faces and kind words are harder to come by. You get a waiter and/or waitress, but I would prefer to fill up my glass of Coke on my own since I’m already getting up to fill my plate with fried dead animals. The edge goes to CiCi’s
-FOOD: Yes, barbecued chicken pizza is distinctly American, but no one can deny Golden Corral’s traditional American food lineup. Fried meats and a better desert bar put GC over the top in this category.
-AFFORDABILITY: Affordability is another crucial quality when it comes to being American. Everyone should be able to enjoy good food and good times. At GC, you’re looking at an average price of 13 bucks per person. At CiCi’s you’re looking at just under 6 dollars per person. Nowhere do you get more bang for your buck than CiCi’s pizza. Edge to CiCi’s.
-THE VERDICT: First let me say that this is the hardest decision I’ve made since I was forced by a friend to choose my favorite John Wayne movie. I chose “The Undefeated”: a splendid film set in the tumultuous aftermath of the Civil War.
---Anyway, I flip-flopped 3 times while writing this column. On the one hand, as one friend pointed out, GC represents America’s history as a “melting pot.” GC has a little bit of everything when it comes to food and patrons. Who knows what you’ll find. On the other hand, CiCi’s Pizza is growing at a tremendous pace with over 600 franchises at last check. MORE, MORE, MORE; a classic American ideal. But, although CiCi’s has more restaurants, Golden Corral has set up shop in more states (39)…When it came down to it, there was one x-factor that put Golden Corral over the top. Golden Corral allows veterans to eat free on Veterans Day. How cool and American is that?
---May God Bless Golden Corral and America. That’s it and that’s all. Did you think it was possible to write this much on a debate between Golden Corral and CiCi’s pizza?